The Five Love Languages – How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman
In this classic book, Dr. Gary Chapman reveals how different people express love in different ways. In fact, he divides that expression into five specific “languages” of love:
- Quality time
- Words of affirmation
- Gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
The last chapters create a profile for couples each consisting of 30 pairs of statements to determine which of the five specific languages of love apply to their relationship. He also offers a free, online study guide, designed for the reader to take the concepts and learn how to apply to them to your life in a practical way.
While the author has dedicated the book to married couples, I suggest the five specific lauguages can easily be applied to most any relationship and convert to the employee/employer form of recognition. Obviously, you won’t ask them to fill in this exact profile, but you can get a general sense of their language by developing a few well-placed questions. Get comfortable with these questions. You can use them:
- When hiring to determine what the applicant may be expecting from a boss/company;
- During monthly, yearly and spontaneous reviews. Learn how to reward and acknowledge a job well done; some employees would rather be given a $2,500 free cruise than receive a $3,000 bonus;
- When communicating with clients and customer and customers. Speak their language and recognize their unique ways of being appreciated — maybe giving a baby gift for their new grandchild; a gas card for a long trip they are about to make, offer a time-saving measure, take care of some errands they’d reather not do, etc. (Be sure to work within their company’s guidelines on receiving gifts);
Bottom line: Dr. Chapman has a large following. As in any self-awareness book, it’s only as good as you interpret and implement it into your own life. His approach is one of respect yourself andyour parenter in your sameness and in your differences. Isn’t that a great way to approach everyone?