It’s all about how much leverage we can get on such an ephemeral phenomenon as quick-set intimacy! The brothers Ori (a business consultant) and Rom (a psychologist) don’t dissipate all the magic for who would want to read their analysis if they did? They dig up considerable research and talk about a variety of clickmasters such as a hostage negotiator, a casting director, and a flight attendant to identify factors that catalyze such alchemy. And they make a convincing case that clicking does more than put you on a fast track to love or success; when you click you become yourself, only better. – Per Matthew Hutsons’ overview of their book.
There are 5 catalysts for connection;
- Vulnerability – Opening up to others by sharing personal information, admitting to an embarrassment, or even just expressing an opinion or emotional reaction immediately deepens the interaction. Eye contact and casual touching also help.
- Proximity – People tend to befriend and collaborate with others they sit next to, live near, or work alongside. Mere facial familiarity enhances judgments of a stranger’s personality. So go out there and mix it up face-to-face.
- Resonance – Get out of your head and into the “zone.” You can reach a state of flow with another person where boundaries fade away by being present and offering undivided attention, listening actively and responding to unspoken needs.
- Similarity We tend to like people who are like us, so find common ground early. Similarities can be as trivial as a shared name or birthday or interest in a sports team. Whatever your background, you immediately become an in-group of two.
- Shared Community – Creating a well-defined frame through, say, a corporate retreat, can amplify the other click accelerants by offering a safe space. Shared adversity also strengthens bonds and can forge permanent partnerships.
Petey’s Comment – It’s a quick read & useful information!